So here is Mr. Okoro Gbenga Bello (OGB), a common Nigerian
struggling to survive in the current economic clime. OGB hasn't received his
salary since January and on the 1st of May, 2016 he was told that he had been
laid off as his employers struggle to keep the firm alive.
OGB is confused and frustrated... no job, no money, power
supply has taken for the worse yet the bills have increased, fuel has been
scarce and he had been paying over N120 per litre, cost of transportation has
gone up, food stuff too. He got home to see a white paper with green printings
stuffed into the Windows of his face-me-I-face-you apartment...he definitely
knew it was from those devils at PHCN. His electric cable has been cut and he was
asked to pay N10,000 as bill plus reconnection fee. How could all these happen
to him just when he has no job?
By the 3rd of May, OGB was really struggling...he called a
friend to send him N1,000 and the friend agreed. OGB got an alert on his phone that
the N1,000 has been credited to his account, but 5 minutes later he got another
alert saying that N50 has been debited as stamp duty leaving him with N950. OGB
was irritated and he asked a neighbour to explain -once more- what the stamp
duty was all about. His neighbour explained that it was an avenue by which the
government is generating funds because oil doesn't bring in much funds as it
used to. Hmmm...OGB just thought to
himself "I was never even a common ward councillor, never was in a
position to manage 1 Kobo belonging to the Federal government, never squandered
public funds...yet I pay N50 whenever a small amount of money gets deposited in
my account because of those who messed the economy up...well"
With N600 out of the, OGB managed to cook a small pot of soup...obviously
without gallops (meat or fish), he was still thinking of how to get the soup to
last a week or more when he got a call from a lady he wanted to marry. He had
planned seeing her parents in February -once he had received his January pay -but
this was May…salary e no see, job sef e no come get. The lady was also not in a
good mood and gave him an earful, telling him that her parents were getting
tired of waiting. After that call, OGB felt like all the heat-wave in Nigeria
had settled on him. He needed to cool off...but there was no power obviously. The
closest paper to him was the last copy of his CV and he fanned and fanned…the
more he fanned the hotter he got…he fanned and fanned till the paper ‘died’. In
that state of utter despair, OGB grabbed a jerry-can and ran to the nearest filling
station for fuel. Foremost in his mind
then was to turn on a fan, cool and clear his congested head...but, first, fuel
most be bought.
At the filling station, he spent hours, got into all sought
of fights …he had 4 before he got to the top of the queue where he realised
that he could only get 2 litres with the N300 he had. He decided to buy 1 litre
instead and keep some money in the pocket just in case he mistakenly spills
someone's oil on his way back home.
On the eve of May the 11th, OGB was sitting outside with his
neighbours and they were talking about how hell-fire must be better than
Nigeria. Some of his neighbours said it was Buhari's fault, others said it was
Goodluck's fault...OGB as always sat on the fence. Of all that hurt them, the
cost of fuel was the most painful...but OGB was of the opinion that Buhari
wanted Nigerians to enjoy it at N86.50 with subsidy but saboteurs and greedy
Nigerians keep hoarding and selling fuel at exorbitant prices. He believed that
Buhari and his team would fight and fight until everyone sells fuel at 86.50…he
felt sure of that.
On the 11th of May, OGB got another call from his fiancée
after which he had that terrible urge to cool off. And to the filling station
he ran again for the usual fights, screams and eventual purchase of a litre of
fuel which would cost him N125. While in the queue, there were small talks of
"no more subsidy", "fuel is now N145", "Buhari don
finish us", "make dem kuku kill us", "make thunder fire
change, fire all those people wey vote for change". OGB couldn't
understand what was going on...it dawned on him when the Manager at the filling
station asked the attendants to stop selling fuel while they readjusted the
meters to from N125 to N145 per litre...and all he had on him was N130. Just
then an alert came in; a guy owing him N2500 had just paid in N1000. As he was
about smiling, another alert came in and to say that Buhari had taken N50 as
stamp duty...OGB went mad, he wanted to beat Buhari so much that he took it out
on anyone available.
He got home -obviously without buying the fuel...and
everyone in the compound was irritable especially those who never wanted Buhari
as president in the first place. They wanted to go on demonstration, if
possible riot. They wanted to vent their frustration, but why? All they could
say was:
1.
Because they have removed subsidy and fuel price
has gone up
2.
Because majority of the current APC members
opposed GEJ's attempt at removing subsidy, so they should also be opposed.
And this is where I come in to try to make some “common
sense”…
To be continued...
The Oracle has Spoken!!
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